Saturday, January 26, 2013

Writing Group week 4: overcoming inertia

Hello everyone,

Hope you've had a productive week!  I will be reporting in late (probably Sunday) because by then I might have actually done something towards all my (oh so modest) goals... it's been a bit of a week here.

This week's discussion prompt is a bit of somewhat trite 'personal development theory' which was presented to us during a full-day compulsory departmental retreat this week (such fun!  Though, I did get to make some pipecleaner animals.  I made an octopus among other things which, as the theme was about working together to make a better research environment, was almost certainly a hat-tip to this writing group even if not a conscious one...).  Woffle aside, one of the things the facilitator used to structure our discussion was an 'equation for change'.  In order for change to happen:

dissatisfaction with the current situation
+
your vision of how the new situation would be better
+
how realistic your plan is
must together be stronger than
the inertia in the current situation
(which could be in your head, in your situation, out of your control...)

It struck me that what the writing group aims to do, and does for me, is to help me remain mindful that I AM dissatisfied with how much I am writing, reminds me that writing feels good and matters (so keeps a vision of how things would be better if I wrote more), and makes me think about and stick to a realistic baby step each week.  Without the writing group it's too easy for me to go months without writing.  The writing group definitely helps me to overcome inertia!  It's an ongoing work, of course, but my weekly check-in keeps me in touch with that work.

So the question for the week is: what sort of inertia, or resistence to change/achieving your writing goals, do you encounter, and have you any tips on overcoming those to share? Any habits that need to change to make it easier to get to your writing?

As a starting point, as a student at high school and university, I used to feel that my desk must be clear and ready for action before I started writing.  This was a useful cue - I cleared my desk therefore it was time to write.  This became less and less useful as I started to write on a computer (your desk is never clear because all those other files are there, if not actually visible) and as life just got busier and more fragmented.  Wanting a clear desk before I could start went from being helpful to being a barrier to writing.  Deciding 'to hell with it, I'll write even in the midst of chaos!' was actually a positive change I made, even if anyone looking at my desk right now (in fact, I will take a snapshot and share it later) might be horrified.  My parents always say 'how can you work like this?' - but the answer is, if I kept my desk immaculate, I would work less.  Works for me!

I've also given up showering in the morning on a work at home day - going straight to work for even half an hour before I wash/dress/make breakfast/feed the cat sets me up for a much more productive day...

Here's the roll call:

Amanda@ladyscientist: (1)Read/Annotate referee paper. (2) Write review of referee paper. (3) Spend 30 minutes a day writing/reading (can be combined with 1 & 2).

Amstr: read something, write 1 bad paragraph

Another Postdoc/living academically: no stated goal

Bardiac: Write the theory section (intro) and start on Faustus.

Contigent Cassandra: stay on top of teaching matters; do research for a short-term freelance assignment and the main writing project for the semester; continue planning; deal with 1 funding application and one CFP.

Dame Eleanor Hull: Order adaptor for new monitor. Do final edits and submit MMP companion-piece. At least 1 hour's research work per day, 1/2 hour on translation, 1/2 hour on something MMP-related, except for the day that I will devote entirely to grooming the companion-piece.

Danne: 1) write at least a page of notes a day 2) SEND OUT APPLICATION FORM to the new university 3) Start reading spatial book 2 (say, three chapters)

Elizabeth Anne Mitchell: 30 minutes 5 days a week

Emmawriting:Get that methods section DONE to the point where I can use next week to create questionnaires.

Good Enough Woman: Two mornings of work, an hour each morning, and catch up with annotated bibliography

heu mihi:Keep slogging away at my German; aim for 5 hours of work; open the document and fiddle with it (or write) at least 5 days this week.

humming42: I’m planning to finish the survey, submit to the IRB and do this other thing on my list, which is to integrate items from the existing outline into the existing chapter drafts.

Jane B: a) spend 15 minutes with paper A on three occasions and b) 2 x 15 minute free-writings (because they are satisfying). Finish all the grading!!!

Jason: 750 words-to-draft; 4x250; 3 solid hours with “major analytic source”; post writing group report by Saturday

Jodi: I'm shooting for 1000-1500 words again and not to be OBE.

kiwi2:  no stated goal

kiwimedievalist/zcat_abroad: no stated goal

luolin88: 1. 30 minutes on T, Th, F, 15 min on Wed. 2. Continue reading Writing Your Journal Article. 3. Make it through another week.

Matilda: continue to re-consideration work/ write 1000 words

Meansomething: 1) FIVE 12-minute sessions on poems. 2) Revise cover letter and send ms. to two more publishers. 3) Send out one more magazine submission

Metheist: Dedicate 4-5hrs on T/R and get my hook for chapter 4.

Nwgirl: Continue work on manuscript revisions: (1 hour on the 3 teaching days) + (4 hours on 3 non-teaching days) = 15 hours

Pilgrim/Heretic: aiming high! for 1500 words, and getting a little bit of last semester's glow back.

profacero (Z): Prepare all classes and materials for them in an organized way, well paced and well enough ahead of time. Always do exercise and sleep, too. AND 25 minutes of research, at least, every day. This is going to be a rough week so saying 2 hours or 2.5 hours could scare me off starting the 25 minutes, so I am saying 25 minutes, but more is of course allowed if there is such time. I also want to take good time off and spend no time eating my own entrails, so to speak, which I have a tendency to do as I am under the delusional impression that this is part of discipline or something.

rented life: Make decision on late start class, have two full days just for me to write/research. Remember to check-in next week. (someone should text me or something. ha)

sophylou: write for half an hour a day; read one book of poetry; try a writing exercise

Susan: Go back to the book that helps me; try to pick up the book for review again. But I may instead end up going through the huge pile of journals on my desk, just to get it clear.

Tracynicolrose: Draft methods section for BE paper; complete at least 1 analysis memo for MS paper; review notes for Methods paper

Zabeel: First draft of revised chapter finished
 



89 comments:

  1. I'll start!

    Well, I roughed out the intro. (And rough means very rough, a la Lamott's "Shitty First Drafts" rough). But I didn't get any further.

    And next week looks to be too busy with work. (I'm in a blue funk about this, which I must get over before Monday. Or quit my job.)

    My goal soon is to get to Faustus.

    By the way, what does um, "OBE" mean here? (Order of the British Empire doesn't seem to fit.)

    Thanks for hosting us!

    ~Bardiac

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    1. Hello! A rough intro is a great step - having SOMETHING rather than that scary blank sheet of paper always makes getting back to work easier...

      OBE = Overcome By Events - a handy short-hand for, well, many of our excuses/reasons-that-don't-seem-good-enough for not getting stuff done. I think this was another of the Dame's contributions to our collective lexicon?

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    2. Saw your recent blog post. I'm struggling with similar feelings and scheduling challenges. I'll bring the cheese and I'll join you in the corner for a whine.

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    3. OBE is from Another Damned Medievalist, at Blogenspiel.

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    4. Thanks Dame Eleanor, I knew it was one of you clever people.

      Yeah, cheese and Whine party definitely on the cards here, company welcome!

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    5. Well, as we all know from Lamott, shitty first drafts are important, so congratulations on producing one.

      Trying to get to Faustus sounds vaguely ominous, a bit more dangerous than waiting for Godot (I envision hellfire flickering on a distant horizon), but, since that's your goal, may you meet it (I'm sure you know that you're doing, and will keep Faustus and any associated emanations well in hand).

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    6. Thanks, all. Or the Witch of Edmonton. One works better for one part, the other for another part. But in any case, I want to get there!

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  2. Followed my plan somewhat vaguely, did move a tiny step ahead on writing and get things done otherwise, looking forward to hitting a stride and have the impression it is possible. Only ate out own entrails once and it was over figuring out what to do about aged parents, not over work.

    Goals this week: some writing every day, 25 minutes to 2.5 hours. Ideally I can get the 2.5 hours Saturday and also Sunday, but I will not scare myself by saying I must.

    The discussion topic is good. What demotivates: when I had my crisis, the reason I could not work was that starting to work would bring on all these PTSD symptoms. If I let them start I could not reliably turn them off, so I was afraid to start working because I did not want to disable myself for teaching and service too. This started a bad habit of fear of work. What I have to remember is that now the symptoms do not come on and if they do I can stop them.

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    1. Tiny steps definitely count as progress! Well done on getting SOMETHING done this week.

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    2. I'm all about tiny steps. I'm sorry about the parental dilemma.

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    3. I hear you about the work itself being a trigger. It took me a while to get out of that cycle after finishing the dissertation (which was a difficult experience in itself, and also finished in difficult circumstances, which became considerably more difficult afterward).

      I hope the parental situation stabilizes. That's another stormcloud on my own horizon, and it could be quite a storm (cf. difficult circumstances, above).

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  3. I managed to meet my goal! Worked for 5 hours *and 15 minutes!!* this week, messed around with the draft on 5 days, and got through a few more pages of German.

    The cool thing is that I'm starting to get interested in my project...which you're probably thinking I should have been all along.... Well, I was once, and then I stopped working on it for a very long time, and it became a burden. But it's starting to seem viable and interesting to me--more than it was initially, even. So my resistance/inertia might just be the sense that writing is hard, dull, and pointless. And actually *doing* the writing is what reminds me that I can enjoy it. Wow.

    For next week: Finish the German? That might be about it. I've got an extra, very-short-term class to prepare, so I'm looking to be busy.

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    1. One Glow of Achievement duly earned - well done!

      And isn't it great when oughts and wants come together as the work starts to mean something? I can definitely relate to the 'it's a chore' feel - sometimes you can know intellectually that work is good and viable and interesting without feeling it emotionally, and that lack of gut feeling either makes it boring to write or makes you doubt your original judgement... so yay for finding the emotional tie with the work again too!

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    2. Hurrah! The opposite of inertia is momentum, and getting into a project -- feeling familiar with it and knowing where it's going -- definitely brings momentum, usually enough to move smoothly over some gaps and bumps in the road that would have seemed like real obstacles when you were getting started.

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    3. Go you! That's good news!

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  4. Last week: 1) write at least a page of notes a day 2) SEND OUT APPLICATION FORM to the new university 3) Start reading spatial book 2 (say, three chapters)

    What I did: 1) Mon 3, Tue 2, Wed 1, Thu 1, Fri 1, Sat ? 2) I sent it out yesterday 3) Ahem... will start reading today.

    Analysis: My priority was the application form and I focused on that. I had to overcome a certain resistence which made the task much more time-consuming than it should have been. However, it's done, and I can come back to my reading.

    Commentary: Inertia/resistence. This week was a perfect example what with the proposal that I struggled to write. I felt like I shouldn't do it, like I was exposing myself, like I was incompetent. As a result, I spent a lot of time on the task and am not satisfied with the outcome. In the end I had to tell myself "this will do the job" and be done with it. The resistence comes from something that stretches my limits, i.e. transferring to another university in the middle of a PhD, right after being told that I didn't have a project. Going through that doesn't exactly support self-confidence. I fight inertia by reminding myself of my goals, giving myself tasks that I can manage (such as working on the proposal for two hours), and being really really stubborn.

    In the end, what do you want to achieve? External pressure was telling me to accept that I was being asked to start from scratch three years into the PhD in order to finish quickly, start teaching at a lower level and have children to make my parents happy... not my life.

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    1. Congrats for getting the form in! That's a useful reminder of how easily I let myself be put off applying for things because "why would they give it to me..." which just isn't going to help. Here's hoping for a fast and helpful response!

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    2. "giving myself tasks I can manage" . . .

      This seems so important but sometimes difficult b/c many things can seem unmanageable.

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  5. Alright, I forgot to set up new goals :-)

    Next week: 1) write at least a page of notes a day 2) Reading three chapters of spatial book 2 3) If a positive answer is received from the new uni, take a day off for reading.

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  6. Last week's goal: Continue work on manuscript revisions: (1 hour on the 3 teaching days) + (4 hours on 3 non-teaching days) = 15 hours

    What I did: Less than half, nearly 6 hours, most of that last weekend (Sunday and Monday).

    Commentary: Another week of extreme OBE, much of it related a single disruptive student. The energy drain, not to mention the time lost to related meetings, is overwhelming my schedule and my health. Ended up with a migraine yesterday.

    Next week: 1). Re-group. 2). Review research journal. 3). Work 4 hours each on two non-teaching days. Work 30 minutes each on three non-teaching days. 4). Review progress and check-in with writing group on Friday.

    Inertia/resistance: Good question. For me resistance becomes much worse when I am overwhelmed by other events such as the situation above. I find myself just thinking, "Why bother trying to do anything today because I'll just get interrupted?" or "I don't have enough time to do anything anyway."

    Ultimately, I have to finish these revisions and meet the deadline. I just need to quiet the demons that are raising my blood pressure and get to work.

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    1. Less than half is more than none, so congratulations, especially with such a disrupted week. The anticipation of interruptions is just as stressful for me as the actual interruptions...

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    2. It sounds like you were quite productive on the days you genuinely had available to you. 4 hours in a day is a lot (at least for me); 3 is usually more realistic on a sustained basis (once again, at least for me). I hope the situation with the student is resolved soon, that's way more time (and energy, and brainspace) than any one student should be able to claim.

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  7. Last week's goal: 1000-1500 words and not to be OBE

    Achieved: somewhere between 300-400 words

    Analysis: I was OBE by the stomach bug going around. I have concluded that I must be dying because no one can possibly survive this. I don't know how those of you who've been sick made it through because I can honestly see no light at the end of the tunnel.

    Next week's goal: If I'm still alive, I need 1000-1500 words.

    Comment: Don't get sick.

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    1. Aww, much sympathy! Hope you feel better soon! And well done for getting any words down in a week like that...

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    2. Ugh! The stomach bugs usually resolve a bit more quickly than the respiratory ones, but they're sure miserable while they last. Hope you feel better soon!

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    3. Been there. Time to buy stock in Gatorade and saltine crackers. I hope you recover soon!

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  8. Last week's goals: Draft methods section for BE paper; complete at least 1 analysis memo for MS paper; review notes for Methods paper

    Achieved: Wrote a draft methods section for BE, wrote 1 analysis memo and 1 background memo for MS paper, reviewed notes for Methods paper plus drafted a table and wrote a planning memo for the paper. I also wrote and submitted a small internal grant for some alternative dissemination channels that I want to try.

    Analysis: A really good writing week for me. I'm not sure what to attribute it to, especially since I had a migraine for 2 days. I think it may have something to do with being away from the office almost every day. I'm sure I'll start getting complaints from the powers-that-be but right now its really working for me.

    Next week's goals: Complete at least 1 analysis memo for MS paper; edit findings section of BE paper; find a new journal for rejected TS paper; read for Methods paper

    Inertia: I don't really have inertia or resistance to engage in writing but I do find that I resist writing the way that I want to write. I want to push my writing and my scholarship in very distinct ways. I've identified what and how I want to be writing but can easily find myself writing the way I know instead of pushing myself to grow as a writer. Unfortunately it is not a matter of changing habits so much as getting comfortable being uncomfortable.

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    1. Congratulations on a great week - here's your virtual Glow of Accomplishment, to be worn with pride!

      That's a really interesting point, that even when we're producing, we can still have problems with inertia. I really felt a jolt of recognition when I read that, realising that in my last study leave (period of concentrated writing) I did make a lot of progress but it was nearly all on 'safe', familiar types of writing, whereas I'd started it with vague hopes of either working on a book idea or a bit of 'how the way we do science in Beach Studies' (somewhere between philosophy and sociology). I rationalised it to myself in all sorts of ways, about how important continuing to turn out data based journal articles were, but maybe I was just not comfortable with taking on something different.

      Since that leave, I have done NaNoWriMo twice, which opened my eyes to how much FUN you can have with a very different sort of writing when the stakes are low... so maybe I should set a goal for my next study leave (or maybe even this summer when I have some actual writing time, since one major fieldwork committment has ended and nothing has yet filled the space, oh joy) of spending a set amount of time trying out the uncomfortable, scary, new kinds and themes in my work writing... A lot to think about there, thank you!

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  9. Amstr:
    Last week's goal: read something, write 1 bad paragraph

    Accomplished: that and more! (Though I confess to scratching out a terrible paragraph just before checking in.) I also worked on my reading list, ordered ILL books, started taking notes on a couple things, read more than one thing.

    Analysis: Having very modest goals for the week helped. The events of the week were slightly less overwhelming than I'd feared, and it left me with extra time to accomplish more. This next week I'm going to need to overcome some inertia and get some significant writing done.

    I also got a note from my advisor signing off on Chapter 2 (my most problematic chapter). Yay! I'll get to spend some time this week polishing it up to send to my 2ndary advisor. Working on that project (as much as I want to never look at the chapter again) may be a way to get me back into writing. I also have what I'm sure will be helpful notes on my draft-so-far of Chapter 4 from my writing partner, so hopefully that will help move me forward.

    Goals for next week: 1) read comments on Chs. 2 and 4; 2) make changes to Ch. 2 and send to 2nd advisor; 3) gather primary and secondary evidence for Ch. 4 and confirm structure; 4) read 4 chapters of Key Book. Bonus tasks: write some; read some more.

    Topic of the week: I like the equation above. I think I most often get stuck because I don't have a vision for how something can be better--I'm thinking here not of my writing practice or my writing output, but the writing itself. Often I'll get stuck (as I am with Chapter 4) because I haven't worked on it in a while, it seems like too big a task, and I'm not sure what it should look like in the end. Having other eyes on the project helps tremendously, as does talking through the problem with anyone who has ears. (The talking it through is often where I accomplish McPhee's structure task.) The part of the equation that writing group helps me with is keeping my plan realistic. Having specific, small, achievable goals has made all the difference in my progress. Having realistic goals makes it more likely I'll make progress during a week, and (as we all know) progress begets progress.

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    1. Congratulations on meeting your goals! Even small tasks keep you in touch with your work - wear your Glow of Achievement with pride!

      And yes, talking things through is a great writing tool, one which it's easy to forget, as well as a good excuse to drink coffee with a colleague or make a long-distance phone call to an academic friend.

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    2. Hurrah on the chapter 2 approval!

      And yes, getting reacquainted with a project (or piece of a project) is often a major source of inertia. I've found that the reacquainting period is one of several points where I really do need a substantial (and preferably open-ended) block of time (the other is when I've done a lot since I last took that sort of wide-angle look at the project, and need to do so before proceeding). Of course, such blocks of time are harder to come by than the little ones in which one can often make a modicum of progress when the project is rolling along nicely.

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    3. "I think I most often get stuck because I don't have a vision for how something can be better--I'm thinking here not of my writing practice or my writing output, but the writing itself. Often I'll get stuck (as I am with Chapter 4) because I haven't worked on it in a while, it seems like too big a task, and I'm not sure what it should look like in the end."

      Yes, yes, and yes. I'm really feeling this right now. But yay for you and your progress, esp. with Chapter 2! And yay for not being as OBE as you feared.

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  10. Well, missing in action last week (at my conference and I forgot to check in before I went!). I completed my goals towards the talk that week, and didn't touch the one page pre-proposal I promised myself to do. So, this past week, I swore again I would do the one pager. . .
    Last week’s goal: to finish a one page draft for a funding application, and send it to a previous mentor for comments.
    Accomplished: I avoided it, then had a go at it yesterday morning (knowing the writing group deadline was coming up!) and more or less had a mental meltdown of I can't do it and anxiety, knowing it is really important.
    Next goal: Work on the one page draft so it is a reasonable standard and send to at least one other colleague for review.
    Commentary: I am about to have another go at the one pager this morning, and I have decided to try the pomaderro method with this. I feel sure I can do a great job, if (but only if) I can get myself together mentally. The struggle is to get myself into a positive, non down trodden state where I can work efficiently and with clarity.
    I like the equation above. What I do notice though is I need to separate out the understanding that I need to act, from a sense of urgency and pressure that obscures what needs to be done.
    Kiwi2

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    1. A large canister of Dame Eleanor's Patent Bugge Spray is on its way to you at high speed through the magic of the internet, along with a lot of empathy and company about this week's struggles.

      "separat(e)[ing] out the understanding that I need to act, from a sense of urgency and pressure that obscures what needs to be done" - hmm, the interactions between 'urgent' and 'important', between the drive to do and the need to strategise, between fire-fighting and making fire breaks, seems to be quite a theme in my life this week (yay for intersemester breaks which are not breaks just badly labelled weeks when the students aren't on campus), and one of the differences between the two situations is how emotion plays into it, which you pick out beautifully here. I love the way you phrase that, maybe it would be a good discussion topic one week?

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  11. Last goals: consider re-structure of my paper/write 1000 words

    Achieved: I reconsidered the structure of my paper, and then I went to the direction I decided, then I again felt worried this would go wrong. I wrote around 800 words.

    Analysis: Thanks for the comments last week, I've tried McPhee's structure system, and also tried free-writing on a blank sheet of paper. Anyway, I thought I needed some radical change both in the structure of paper, and also my mental attitude towards the paper. They worked well for a while (so, 800 words. this is good accomplishment for me). Then I re-read the paper through yesterday and again started to worry whether this paper would go without falling apart???

    Comments on the topic: I always procrastinate when I have to write something because I subconsciously want to avoid facing difficulty which normally occur during writing process. I like planning and dreaming of my great paper, but when it comes that I really have to write, I always say I need more research and reading before starting writing. I still cannot get rid of this, but the first chapter of Belcher's book has helped me to reduce it.

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. Congratulations on that 800 words!

      It sounds almost as if you should just WRITE the paper to the new structure without any re-reading, THEN see what you think - much sympathy with your struggles, and we look forward to hearing how you get on.

      What's your goal for next week??

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    3. Thank you for your comment, JaneB! After posting my comment, I've started to think anyway I should go with this structure though I am not perfectly satisfied with it.

      Goals for next week: finish(or nearly finish) the paper.

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  12. Last week's goal: stay on top of teaching matters; do research for a short-term freelance assignment and the main writing project for the semester; continue planning; deal with 1 funding application and one CFP.

    Achieved: I'm reasonably on top of teaching matters (more so than usual, but there are a few should-have-done-them-a-week-to-a-few-days-ago tasks still lurking, and some others that I probably should have started by now looming; still, we'll call that one done); I did the research for and started the freelance assignment (more than done); I did very preliminary research for the main project (sorta done; I've looked up the call numbers but don't have the books); I answered one CFP (summarizing and refamiliarizing myself with the J project from last semester in the process, and networking about a possible additional conference-related event, so done+); didn't get the funding thing out.

    Analysis: I'm reasonably pleased, and hope I'm building momentum toward a productive semester (but a bit worried about those looming teaching things, and some other looming housekeeping/financial-type stuff).

    Goal for next week: Deal with funding application; finish freelance piece; actually take out and look at books for main project, start planning it.

    Inertia/change: we had a department retreat this week, too, which, along with persistent rumors of possible upcoming change that could eliminate the course I teach (and hence my position), have me dissatisfied with how much writing I'm doing on my core academic projects, as well as feeling that I should probably publish some pedagogical work closely related to what I've been doing in the course (the article I'm working on this semester is not closely related to that teaching, but it was proposed and promised long ago, and needs to be finished, and it does have some relation to my core research program. All the same, if I don't take the whole semester to write it, but instead find time to return to the J project, and/or some aspect of the P project, including an elaborated outline/beginnings of a very rough draft of the book that I have begun to describe as "in process," that would be a good thing. But given the vagaries of a heavy teaching load and the freelance work, which seems to come in fits and starts, I think it's the right decision to start writing the main article now, to make sure I don't end up overwhelmed and behind and generally unhappy in April, which tends to get busy). There are also financial obstacles to spending more time on the core research program, ranging from various aspects of the present situation, to various "what-ifs" (what if my present job disappears fairly soon? what if the higher ed job market continues to deteriorate, making research an expensive hobby at best? what if I'm too old to get another job even with publications?). I'm trying to do what I can to improve the things under my control in the present situation (including spending some time that I'd otherwise spend writing trying to untangle various financial things that have become tangled while I tried to focus more on professional activities/goals), but the difficulty of figuring out priorities in an uncertain situation remains. It really is easier to plan when things are at least somewhat stable/predictable. Of course they never really are, but they seem especially uncertain right now.

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    1. One mildly cheering note: I had occasion to use my new title for the first time in filling out the biographical part of the CFP form (while making it clear that I couldn't officially claim it until August; the conference is after that). I still think that a non-tenure track Associate Professor is something of an oxymoron (at least in the American context), but I am feeling glad that I won't be a fifty-year-old Assistant Professor (especially since I started my Ph.D. at 23; that's not a slam on anyone who started a grad program later, but this, such as it is, is the only career I've had, and I'm just as glad to have some sign that, 20+ years after I first stood in front of a classroom, and over a decade after I finished the Ph.D., I'm no longer "junior." Now if my paycheck would only send the same message -- and I were sure I could keep my job -- I'd be a reasonably happy camper, if still, perhaps, productively unsatisfied enough to at least work toward the possibility of a position more like what I thought I was training for).

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    2. Congratulations on your progress, and all best wishes for building momentum and not being derailed by 'what if's - even if stability is illusional, we humans are so fond of our illusions and easily unsettled when they go a bit see-through, aren't we?

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    3. Congrats on getting to use your new title! And for the career progress it signals (even if it's not exactly what you'd hoped or imagined). It sounds like a hard place to be in. I hope in the midst of the swirl of responsibilities and doubts, you can have a still, small place for research that's fulfilling and valuable.

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  13. Last week:
    1) 750 words-to-draft: DONE
    2) 4x250: Actual - 2x250
    3) 3 solid hours with “major analytic source”: DONE
    4) post writing group report by Saturday: DONE

    After planned OBE-lescence on the weekend, Mon-Thurs worked out OK, around 75%. There was some slack time in my research blocks, but I've gotten *much* better at keeping up the barrier between teaching & research. And I feel like some writing momentum is steadily building.

    Next week, more of the same: 750 words-to-draft; 6x250; 5 solid hours with analytic sources; post writing group report by Saturday.

    On topic: I have started and stopped every large project more times than I can count, working for a week or two then OBE or lazy. I've got bad procrastination habits that play into that, mostly too much time spent with leisure reading or on the couch at home. If I cut those distractions in half, I'd help myself out quite a bit.

    For me, the most consistent results come when I get out of my office with a small number of concrete plans. In the morning, I can use the computer to take notes because I'll stay on task better. In the afternoon, I'm better off unplugged unless I am writing in short goal-oriented bursts, etc. I think the accumulation of "know thyself" tidbits helps, but I'm only just now focusing enough to use that knowledge effectively--pacing myself, creating manageable tasks, etc. And it kind of feels like the three weeks of this writing group have gotten me on track (overcoming the downturn of a recent failure on the job market).

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    1. Congratulations on another productive week

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  14. Last week's goals: 1) FIVE 12-minute sessions on poems. 2) Revise cover letter and send ms. to two more publishers. 3) Send out one more magazine submission

    Achieved: 1) Two 12-minute sessions. 2) Revised cover letter, send ms. out. 3) Sent out submission--this was actually in response to a solicitation for work.

    Analysis: I didn't do a good job squeezing in time on the poems during a busy-but-not-crazy week, but this may also be because I don't have anything really exciting going right now--this was mostly desultory tinkering. I did, however, get a brainstorm about the lyric essay, and spent some time on that. As for the submission tasks, I am finding it very helpful to articulate these goals--the one to the editor (with the more personal cover letter) has needed to go out for some time, but it didn't happen until I made it one of my goals. This upcoming week starts out rough but gets easier at the end, so I'm going to stick with the goal I had this week of five brief writing sessions.

    Next week's goals: 1) Five 12-minute sessions (may include two or three on prose); 2) Send out ms. to other publisher.

    About inertia: I long ago realized that no one cares about my work anywhere near as much as I do, nor will they. I am its only hope. Also, no one can do my work (I'm talking just about my writing here) except for me. I'm still trying to translate these recognitions into a radical privileging of the work I care about. I am frustrated with how gendered this experience is--how much more automatic it seems for the male writers I know to put their work ahead of other responsibilities and other people's needs. I get the most support from others (for putting my time and energy toward my work) when I frame it as something I need for my own health and well-being; that is, they will support my doing what I need to do to feel okay, but it is hard for them to offer support out of the kind of care for the work that I feel. As I said, I'm the only one who cares about it while it is being done. Other people might admire it when it is finished. (This is not unlike when I was pregnant, actually, speaking of gendered experiences.)

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    1. Congratulations on a productive week, even if you didn't quite get there with the goals.

      Yeah, at the departmental away day, it was noticeable once again that there IS a gender component to the different barriers to research - not entirely, there were male colleagues who also felt obliged to meet the needs of the students and other colleagues first, and one female who 'didn't see what we were all making a fuss about' when others spoke about the conflicts they felt and about not feeling valued. And perhaps the fact that the people who feel the need for this writing group are mostly female is also a kind of evidence?

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    2. Thanks! and yes, it is such an old theme--we're all tired of it--and yet it persists.

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    3. And somehow, at least in my generation (and my field), non-tenure track faculty are more likely to be female (though tenure-track faculty are pretty much 50/50 m/f). That's starting to change as the job market gets still tighter, but the pattern was definitely there for a decade or two. And not all of us have children, or even spouses, so that's not the whole explanation. What we do seem to have in common is having privileged teaching over research at some point in our careers. I now find myself telling people (female *or* male) that if they really care about teaching, they should nevertheless privilege research during their grad school and junior-faculty years, because that will give them the greatest chances of landing a job which will eventually give them the freedom to focus on teaching if they choose, participate in shaping the curriculum, etc., etc. It sounds backwards, but I'm pretty sure it's good advice.

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  15. last week's goals: 1) finish the survey, 2) submit to the IRB, 3) integrate outline into chapter drafts

    done: survey is complete, IRB paperwork is close, nothing on item 3.

    analysis: I put off posting until today in the hope that I could accomplish more but got bogged down with teaching stuff yesterday (as Saturdays tend to be). I did finally spend a few minutes on the form and see that I should be able to get it done in about 30 minutes of dedicated time (today!)

    next week's goals: knowing that I have three projects due this week—two service projects and one teaching project—I will be happy just to submit the paperwork and think of myself as a writer and scholar.

    comments: I spent the summer trying on and trying out various methods of organizing time and tasks. I did Pomodoros, I did mindfulness, I did lists of three top priorities for the day. I probably spent more time navigating my relationship with time than I did being productive. Nonetheless, I find now that it was actually time well spent. I learned that the means of avoiding procrastination is largely circumstantial. Each task has its own qualities, and each week’s workload has its own qualities as well. I wanted to find a fix-all for my inertia but discovered that I’m better off with a toolkit (kind of like Batman’s belt) from which I can select the best method. I’m still adjusting to the new semester and am not sure what tools will work yet. Being able to think and talk about it here is a huge help.

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    1. I love the idea of a Bat-utility belt as opposed to a fix-all!

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    2. I like this, too: procrastination as circumstantial and varying (not inherent to the individual!).

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    3. Yup, I love the tool-kit analogy (though batman's belt always looked like it would be pokey if you sat down in it, to me)! Congratulations on making some progress, every little step counts!

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    4. This rings a bell for me, too. Also, procrastination can be a sign of exhaustion (which, of course, becomes a self-perpetuating vicious cycle). Sometimes we focus on the behavior we engage in while procrastinating, when we need to focus on the underlying problem.

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    5. I agree. Procrastination can be a sign of exhaustion. I've noticed that procrastination increases the longer I go without a real day off. (And that the problem gets worse as I get older -- i.e. I don't have the energy I once had.)

      I like Batman's belt analogy.

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  16. Last Week's Goal: Dedicate 4-5hrs on T/R and get my hook for chapter 4.

    Accomplished: I still haven't figured out my hook, but I had 3 good solid hours of work on T; about 1 on R, and another 1.5 on Sat. Sat. was unexpected because I had planned to just work on class prep, but I took a break from that and picked up a library book to take notes on. OH, and I started writing a conference paper for March.

    Next Week's Goal: dedicate 3hrs on T/R, and hopefully an hour on MWF. Write a shitty first draft of my conference paper, which is an offshoot of a diss. chapter.

    Inertia: I haven't taken a lot of time to think about it, but the comments by "Meansomething" totally resonated with me. Not only do I put others' needs ahead of my own, but I have my own procrastination and fear of failure that keep me from moving forward. As writers, we do need to be selfish and put our writing first. However, I always fear that in taking hours out of my day to write, especially in the evenings, is taking away time for me to reboot and relax. In reality, when I dedicate my time to writing and even exercising, I feel more vibrant and alive than if I sit and watch TV. It's just hard to remember that.

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    1. Metheist: Yes, so important! I've been experimenting with doing my 12-minute chunks before tackling other, job-related things. After all, 12 minutes isn't much (nor is an hour, really), and writing often transforms my mood and makes me feel much better placed to work on other things. In fact, I'm going to go write right now.

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    2. Yes, knowing what is truly rejuvenating (and being aware that that, too, may be contingent/contextual) is another key piece of self-knowledge.

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  17. Last week's goal: Get up early two mornings for an hour of work each, catch up with Annotated Bib.

    Accomplished: Got up early both mornings. Didn't work on AB, but I did write about 700 words for Chapter 5, which was great!

    Analysis: This semester, for the first time in several years, I don't teach five days a week. For the past few years. Most days have been packed with teaching, office hours, and *lots* of meetings b/c of the college crisis. This past Friday, I didn't have to go to campus. At all. Amazing. I started the day by running, then worked on Chapter 5, then did chores and errands, then read a novel at a coffee shop, then had movie night with the family.

    I must say that the novel reading at the coffee shop was tremendous, and it made me realize how seldom I have that experience anymore. Since I had already done a few hours of writing earlier in the morning, since I don't have grading yet, and since Hubby had the kids, I felt like I could afford the time spent reading for pleasure. And I realized that I can't remember the last time I felt that "free." It felt so good, in fact, that I'm now feel a little bit resentful of the demands that typically dominant my days--especially the endless service demands that come at work. I am nostalgically thinking back to the days when I mostly taught and wasn't bogged down in accreditation, assessment, strategic planning, and curriculum changes.

    Commentary: Like Amstr, I often feel inertia take over when I have uncertainties--or, in my case, insecurities--about a task. On Friday morning, I was excited to have time to write, but I also dreaded it a bit because I knew I was picking up from where I'd gotten stuck a few weeks ago. Reading over what I'd already written got me going, however. I really do think taking things "bird by bird" (to quote Lamott again) might be the only way for me to keep moving forward (I've been taking the same approach as I get back to running after spending several weeks without doing so in cold, snowy Colorado). Regarding the thesis (dissertation), it's hard to believe that I will ever finish. Certainly, doing so will require more than 3-4 hours a week. Not sure how that will happen! But for now, it's bird by bird.

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    1. Woohoo! Words! Congrats on your progress for the week.

      I've been meaning to mention to you the hopeful advice I got from a colleague from my dept. who took 10+ years to finish his diss. and was forced to do so by an external deadline set by his committee and the graduate school. Here it is: You can finish if you can get about 20 hours a week to work on it. After our x-country move, I had zero hours a week (except an occasional evening), and once we got settled, my goal was to get to 20 hours. I think this is what your advisor meant when she said people work mornings and evenings to finish. In reality, it's lovely to have the 20 hours, but there's no way I'm working all of it. There have been stretches where I've worked 40 hrs. a week writing intensively to deadline, but for the most part, I'm just barely putting in my 20 hours, and it totally depends on the week. All that to say, you will finish. And it really helped me to figure out each term how to slowly increase my dedicated writing time.

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    2. Yay for words, and for freedom and novel reading! May there be more of all those things in the weeks to come... what's your goal for next week?

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  18. Last week's goal: 1500 words.

    Accomplished: Done, with 8 words to spare! Slowly clawing my way back to a writing routine.

    Next week's goal: 1500 more. This won't be easy, since we have two on-campus candidates (and I'm on the search committee), but I really want to push to make it happen.

    Analysis: There's much to chew on with the inertia question - there's almost no end to the things I let get in my way! Hoping to come back and post more on this shortly.

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  19. Last goals: Order adaptor for new monitor. Do final edits and submit MMP companion-piece. At least 1 hour's research work per day, 1/2 hour on translation, 1/2 hour on something MMP-related, except for the day that I will devote entirely to grooming the companion-piece.

    Achieved: (1) Adaptor ordered, monitor set up and successfully connected to laptop, 4 lines of IPM transcribed. (2) Not done. (3) At least 1 hour's work/day, yes; 3 half-hours on translation total; several hours reading; 880 unexpected MMP words today.

    Analysis: I'm all over the map here. I need a single sunny day (or just a day when I'm more than usually energetic) when I'm not stressing about other stuff to deal with the companion-piece edits and final submission. Translation-editing goes well so long as I get going (hm, see below on the week's topic!). I'm interested in what I'm reading and have taken some notes. Fixed times to do certain kinds of work help a lot; the thing is, I have to assign those times first. I'm glad to have the monitor because transcription is a useful thing that I like playing with, and once I've done a bit of that I get more interested in doing other work.

    New goals: Time: at least one hour a day, at least half an hour on translation and half on something else. Product: more notes on S book, get back to books on W and read/take notes. Do final edits and submit MMP companion-piece.

    Overcoming inertia: Start small. Very low goals, something totally pathetic like "write one sentence" or "read one page" or "work for 15 minutes" (oops, sorry, MeanSomething, don't mean you're pathetic, just that that's how I feel when I'm feeling like I can't get started and think I should work for 2 hours but there's no way . . .); then when these are achieved it feels good and I start to get interested in doing more. Also it is helpful for me to start with something really low-stakes, like transcription, translation, reading. This can gradually become "take notes on reading" or "think about implications of this document" which in turn starts to generate new prose. I'm definitely a ramp-up-slowly person, not a plunge in-and-do-the-hardest-thing-first type. I've been trying to put together a "research syllabus" for the spring, but so far planning a week at a time is all I can do! At my brighter times of year I can get to 3 weeks before I need to recalibrate, so I suppose I'm not surprised that right now I can't plan farther out. The MMP is Octopusing like crazy, so I'm just trying to keep doing *something* steadily and see what happens.

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    1. Congratulations on making progress and doing little things... they will all add up. Hopefully not into TOO many new tentacles!

      There is both solace and pleasure in a nice tidy low-originality-high-focus task like transcribing, especially when you can't get going. I did note today that all the things that I need to work on need THOUGHT or are at the scary nearly-ready-to-fly stage, both of which are extra barriers to me actually getting on with them when I'm feeling flattened by, oh, Bugges, or mental weather, or the weather outside, or teaching/students/colleagues, or just random DoNotWants. Maybe I need to add a more mechanical task to the list, to help me ramp up to doing something more challenging...

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    2. Congratulations on making progress -- love the image of the project "Octopusing like crazy."

      The sun came out today after several cloudy days. My mood and my output improved substantially. Here's to more sunny days.

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  20. I am always so optimistic that I will suddenly get things done on Saturday and Sunday, however hard the week has been, but it very rarely works.

    goal for the week: a) spend 15 minutes with paper A on three occasions and b) 2 x 15 minute free-writings (because they are satisfying). Finish all the grading!!!

    achieved: a) spent 15 minutes going through the files for paper A and thought that I had less work to do than I'd expected, so I was all motivated and made a list of half hour or less length tasks to get it to finished. But then I checked journal submission rules again and discovered that the word count NOW INCLUDES REFERENCES AND TABLES. What kind of b*****d journal does that??? (And why didn't I buckle down and do this last semester before the rule changed?). So the paper is now nearly 2000 words overlength. Hence a small job became a larger one, as I need to HACK :-( (precis is my absolute Worst Writing Skill). So I went and ate chocolate and blew up little blobs on a computer game for a while instead of getting on with actually doing the work. b) I did some free-writing, and in fact ended up carrying on beyond my time and outlining the next paper in a series that I'm writing with a colleague. c) I've done all the marking except a pile of first year worksheets, which were set aside because of the need to actually prepare teaching for next week...

    Analysis: more than nothing, which will have to do! I have begun to plot out my work schedule for the rest of the semester, as teaching matters are resolved (I team-teach two modules this semester and am also taking on an extra seminar group (sigh) as well as continuing a skills module, and one of the team-taught modules has field days and six team members to coordinate and the other (which thank heavens I don't lead) is fundamental to every Beach Studies major AND minor, has eight team members and something like 12 different student pathways through the units within the module, all of which is to say that it is not surprising that sorting out who teaches where in which week is a MESS) and apart from a week in early March things start busy then peter out. After Easter I will only see students in the classroom to teach a class on 6 occasions total, even though there are five weeks of the semester (though no doubt I will end up seeing them in office hours and popping in to the 'finish up your own projects' lab sessions). So my VERY slow start is feeling less like a prediction of another unproductive semester, which is comforting. I also went to the office for three (short) days last week and although my voice was ropey by Friday I wasn't feeling flattened/needing to take to my bed - I think I'm finally winning against the virus I've been trying to crawl out from under since early December.

    goals for next week: a) incorporate the comments from other authors into paper A, do a first cut at reducing its length (let's say 4 sessions of about 0.5-1 hour each). b) type up the outline for what is now paper D derived from this week's freewriting and send an email to my colleague about their part in finalising the analysis plan. I have multiple classes on each of Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, the syllabus isn't finished for one starting Tuesday (that's the 6 person one. I still don't have really basic info from two of them. Grrrrrrrrrrr), and I still have those first year work sheets and a load of assessment related administration to get through, so that will be plenty!

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    1. I agree. Forward movement is forward movement.

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  21. Last week's goals.
    1. 30 minutes on T, Th, F, 15 min on Wed.
    2. Continue reading Writing Your Journal Article...
    3. Make it through another week.

    Achieved.
    1. Read some of the Belcher WYJATW book
    2. 30 mins on Tuesday reviewing some reading notes for article and a bit of untimed editing on Friday.
    3. Made it through the week.

    What worked and what didn't.
    At noon on Tuesday, I thought I'd been unrealistic to plan 30 minutes, but it turned out to be the only day I put in concentrated writing work. I keep feeling off-kilter, like I'm in the wrong place in my projects. I need to prepare a clear plan for the next writing session so I can jump right in when I have the chance.

    My goal for next week is
    15 minutes on some kind of writing/research MTWTF.

    I'm sorry I don't have comments on the weekly topic, though it's got me thinking.

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    1. Progress! It's all progress! Much empathy on the off-kilter-ness, it's a most unsettling feeling.

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  22. Goal last week: read one important book, finish lingering book review.

    Accomplished: re-read one important book. Also got through a few journals, so the pile on my desk is less daunting. I also (having read Tenured Radical on the empty inbox)made a dent in my inbox.

    Analysis: Well, the mess that I mentioned last week actually went public this week (person leaving partner, having affair, etc.) so a little bit of DRAMA for us boring academics. And then I had various kinds of car trouble. (Battery failed in rental car on Thursday night, and in my own car on Friday morning.) This led to more time than I would have liked waiting for car repairs to be complete.
    As for inertia: what is in the way is not just the real jobs I have, but the way they have come to feel like a burden that is unsupported. Which means that this is my last year as chair.

    Goals for next week: Finish the review, and get going on one of the many books I have on my desk! I'm traveling next weekend (a visit to my father, who has dementia) so will not check in, but I need to get moving because this big talk is in two months!

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    1. Yay for progress - especially the diminishing desk pile, that's always encouraging. Have a good trip.

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  23. Last Week's Goals: (1)Read/Annotate referee paper. (2) Write review of referee paper. (3) Spend 30 minutes a day writing/reading (can be combined with 1 & 2).

    Achieved: I finished 1&2! #2 ended up being harder than I thought it would be because the paper was awful. I utterly failed at #3.

    Analysis: I was definitely OBE last week. My cell stocks all died (it really is a catastrophe), my optimized protocol is mysteriously no longer optimized, and my work computer got the blue screen of death. I'm certain that this week will be better.

    Goals for next week: Write or read 30 minutes/day.

    Topic: I have a huge problem with inertia. I'm currently sitting at my desk and thinking that I really need to get up to treat my cells. I really don't want to do this-- even though it's not too terribly difficult. However, I've given myself a deadline and after I finish typing this, I'm getting up and working. I'm hoping that if I can just force myself into a routine that I'll be able to overcome my inertia. I do better with schedules and checklists. I just have to learn to check my schedule and lists!

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    1. Oh, that sounds like a horrible week! Congrats on your progress in the midst of it all. I do hope this week's better.

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    2. Reviews of bad work are always SO hard! It takes lots of time to get the tone right, and not just be snarky.

      And good luck getting everything going again!

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    3. Thank you both! Monday was so much better. I'll be happy if the rest of the week is just ok. :)

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    4. Getting something done despite OBE (and dead cells! Oh noes!) is great!

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  24. Kiwimedievalist: Argh! As usual, I read through the post on Saturday, thought I'd do a bit more work over the weekend, and then forgot to log in at all yesterday.

    Previous (unstated) goal: write for half an hour 3 times a week (notice it's getting less and less!)

    Achieved: No.

    Commentary: However, I've done lots of discussing of the article with a range of people. So plenty of thinking about it, and a fair bit of planning as well. Now I just need to put that into action. Unfortunately, I'm a champion procrastinator - I spent most of Sunday being just about to get on to writing, and then, when I finally opened the documents, the phone rang. So this week, I'll work on prioritising opening the documents. Then, there'll be less to put off.

    Goal: Write 1,000 words (can be rubbish) on the article. Read the book for review.

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    1. Discussing definitely counts as progress!

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  25. Not sure if this will show up here, but, given various comments on procrastination due to fear of not being good enough, this was floating round FB today and seemed relevant:
    http://amandaonwriting.tumblr.com/post/41591543012

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  26. Sorry for the late check-in. I forgot last check-in that I had a conference on the other side of the country Friday through Monday.

    Last week's goal: 30 minutes 5 days.

    Accomplished: Nope.

    Analysis: OBE in the form of continuing stomach bug, dead car batteries, travelling without a computer and $20/day a day internet at the hotel. Sigh.

    Next week's goal: 30 minutes 5 days a week.

    Topic: I respond to rewards. I have to rework my cv by Friday for my fist annual review at the new job. I hate doing cv's. So, if I finish my cv by Friday, I get to go to a yarn shop a colleague told me about last week, and spend xx amount. As an added incentive, every day I work on the cv, I get to spend 15 minutes perusing their on-line site with lust.

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    1. Ooh, I like that reward system! I have ordered in a few books from the library about spinning, as I have now had a spinning wheel for a couple of months, and haven't done much with it yet. Perhaps I should hold that out as reward for dealing to article...

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    2. It really works for me. After the retail therapy comes the "get to work on this knitting project" or "read a chapter in this novel."

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    3. I find it really hard to STOP with reading ONE chapter, or buying ONE ball of yarn, or stopping knitting before my shoulder siezes up... you clearly have much better won't-power than I do!

      Here's hoping you (and your car) feel much better soon

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  27. Obviously still brain-dead: "$20/day internet" and "first annual review". . .

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  28. I'm sorry for the late check-in. Maybe I should bow out, I'm having a bit of a hard time with it this semester. My apologies.

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    1. Late check-ins happen... Friday-Saturday isn't always the logical check-in time for everyone. It's OK to have a few bad weeks! If the group is just another thing making you feel guilty and stressed, by all means, take a break until the next one - but if it can help, do stay around and see how the semester goes on...

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