I shall respond to them in reverse order:
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What keeps me moving forward?
In my branch of Beach Studies, fieldwork is the starting point for most research projects, and my particular interests often lead to field days beginning with long hilly, heathy or squelchy walks into the target area, which have to be repeated in the evening whilst carrying a load of samples. Right now I am not at ALL physically fit, but even when I WAS in much better shape, I've always been a bit creaky (I have an unreliable ankle, non-standard-issue-hip and slighty damaged lower back, along with allergies), and so by the end of the day I am usually more than ready for a change (and a sit down on something more comforting to a non-standard-issue-hip than a rock). On the way home, I tend to look at my feet. Looking ahead tends to drag my tired thoughts into some negative circles
"oh how far it is! Oh no, there is another hill coming! How will I manage to cross that stream that was a bit far to jump ten hours ago? oh no, Joe is miles ahead, he must think I'm such a wimp, I'm useless at this. We should have made twice as many measurements today. What will I do if this field season is a wash-out? My feet hurt. Are those rain clouds?" etc.Looking downwards, I get to enjoy the journey more without borrowing the future's worries. I see more - small details of plants can be fascinating, insects are around, water-worn rock has an endless beguiling appeal. I concentrate on getting the next little bit right - stepping just so over a tree root, choosing where to place my foot so that my knee angle is optimal for efficient lifting of the rest of me as I climb, letting myself adopt the pace and speed that suits the most efficient transfer of my body and burdens over the terrain, regardless of what others might think. I lose myself in the rhythm of movement and the details of the natural world, not worrying about what comes next or what went before - and instead of getting back to the car or camp a frazzled mess, I get in tired but relaxed, calm - and still ready for a nice sit down.
Looking at my feet, looking at the next five minutes, has gotten me through situations where if I'd looked at the whole trek ahead, thought about the end of the week, I'd've just sat down and cried with tiredness and fear. When work is very busy and there are many important things that all need doing urgently, I do much better when I remember to pick one small task, focus on it, complete it and then pick another - a sequence of small, steady achievements builds up its own rhythm and carries me up hills and through rivers, even ones swarming with sarcastic advisors/superiors, conflicting data and confrontational meetings.
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How am I moving forward in life?
This question made me laugh a bit, because a few months ago I declared this to be a year of regrouping' - to extend my fieldwork metaphor, this year is supposed to be all about sitting on a rock or comfortable tussock, emptying and repacking my rucksack, retying my boots, going through my notes and tidying them up, reapplying suncream or insect repellant or retucking the 8 or 10 layers that ruckle up at the waist (depending on the weather in this metaphor), kicking back and enjoying the view, looking at the map and picking the best route to my next destination.
Life, of course, is moving me forward anyway - applying for grants had become a motion to go through, and rather than obsessing about writing something that was perfectly fundable I wrote a few that were rather unlikely... last week one of them got through to the 'responding' stage, which means it's moved from something like a 1-in-10 chance of success to a 1-in-2 chance. Earlier this month, I found out that I got the Bequest money I applied for. WierdBugMan has got 'permission to retire early', which changes... everything we do together. ExoticCountryVisitor arrives soon - which means the start of a new research angle for my group, with a lot of learning, and some linguistic challenges for us all (my location has strong regional accents, SeniorStudent comes from a different region of the country with its OWN distinctive accent and words - and my default is a third strong accent. ExoticCountryVisitor's native tongue is a completely different kind of language to English, and although she writes English quite well, I expect that she will not be quite so fluent in speaking - and may well not follow what some of the students say at all, at first. I mean, I found Ontario accents tough to follow when I first worked in Canada, and we were all speaking the same basic language!). My group had thinned down nicely in advance of my study leave, not entirely by my choice but in a way that was comfortable and not very worrying, and now from September I will have the most 'direct reports' I've ever had in the lab (i.e. people for whom I'm advisor of record or 'post-doc-boss' rather than any kind of shared supervision) - at the same time as dealing with a new technician who is as yet untrained and may not be trained by the time we need him (mess, long story). It will be exciting, but not exactly a time of regrouping! Life is moving forward around me, regardless of my plans.
A current challenge for me, a challenge this Scientiae prompt is encouraging me to face anew and renew my committment to addressing it, is to work out where I want to go next in my work, my life. I really, really don't know and as someone who likes to plan and list and dream, that's a hard place to be. I need to keep my behind firmly attached to the rock and sit and look into the fog of not knowing, because it would be easy to get up and get busy again. Looking at my feet, thinking about the next step, works well when I know where I'm going (when I'm returning along a known path, in my first answer), and would work well if I didn't care where I ended up. I can imagine the latter leading to bad things - my health issues have led me along a scary cliff edge or two, and I've read about these salt mines you can end up slaving in, so I want to have a map.
I have a compass - I know what my values are, pretty much, I have a faith (of the rather feeble 'Lord I believe: help though my unbelief'/'Lord, I will be very busy this day and may forget thee, do not thou forget me' kind, but it's a solid ground to my being), and I am slowly working out what being successful would look like to me. I need a MAP, and a PLAN - because you can be on the right compass bearing, but if you're going the wrong way or starting from the wrong place it can lead you straight over the cliff.
Finding the space to stay still when everything is moving around me, when the current is tugging at my knees, is going to be a challenge - but sometimes it's what we need most.
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